Last August, I graduated from Dev Bootcamp (RIP) and was, to my surprise and delight, hired to stay on as a student mentor. I could give back to the organization! I could stave off the impending doom of unemployment! I could work part-time for a livable wage and still have the energy to apply to full-time jobs! Yay!
The Monday after I graduated, I started mentoring, and a feeling of deep unease replaced all that happy energy. I was suddenly in a position of relative authority, after having been a student myself just a few days prior. I didn't know if I was ready. I didn't know if I could actually help anyone learn to code. After all, I was still learning. What did I have to offer? Who did I think I was?
Turns out, this feeling hasn't really gone away even after getting a Real Job and being a Real Developer for a while. (Side note: Click here to find out if you're a Real Developer. Congrats!)
Puh-lenty of articles have been written about imposter syndrome, so I won't take the time to dissect the whys and wherefores here. I just want to write a letter to my DBC-graduate self, and maybe look back on it when I'm feeling imposter-y.
Yo, self,
Hello there. It's the future. I promise, everything will be fine. Here are some of the reasons why. Don't cry; you're fine. Or cry if you want to, because completing the stress cycle is important. (Thanks, Emily.)
- You know more than you think you do. This is not the last time you'll hear this. You're going to have an awesome mentor at your first job who will tell you this, too. Trust your instincts, own what you know, admit what you don't — anyone who is a reasonable human will respect you and your smarts.
- You're learning good habits. Don't let them go. That mentoring mindset and desire to help others is never going to go out of style. Some days it might feel like you're in a holding pattern, but you're not. What you do right now is helping you be a better coworker later, even if you're not building Groundbreaking Side Projects all day long.
- You're going to land something great soon. Speaking of your first job, it's coming soon. It's really hard to keep sending out several job applications every day, but your hard work will pay off. And then, you're going to have A+ coworkers who help you learn tons of new stuff and build cool things at a hands-on apprenticeship. Also, there's going to be an office dog (!!).
- The journey is nowhere close to over. What that means is, you have the rest of your life to build a career. Just because you're switching to something new doesn't mean you have to catch up all at once. You're smart, and you'll catch up pretty quickly anyway. But this is an industry you chose exactly because you will never stop learning and growing and being challenged by your work. Embrace where you are now.
- Everyone was here once! If the other devs around you sometimes forget how junior you are, that's probably just because you're killing it. Admitting when you don't know something is not a failing — it's just a fact. Moreover, your "juniority" is not your fault. Where you are in your learning is directed by you, and you're in charge of progressing your own career, but I know you, and you're always moving forward. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of feeling like you're "to blame" for not knowing how to solve a challenging problem.
- There is a community for you. It's really hard letting go of what was basically a summer camp for adults where everyone was rooting for everyone else. But you'll find really great communities and go to an awesome conference where you'll meet women from all walks of tech who believe in you and encourage you to be your best career-self and also human-self.
- There are companies that care. You hear a lot about how tech is a toxic environment for marginalized people, including women, but there are companies that will make you feel super welcome. I'm literally starting a new job tomorrow that sent me a welcome packet in the mail with a bullet journal, pins, and laptop stickers. Real cute, real caring.
My friend, my self, everything is comin' up Milhouse, so to speak. You're great.
Love, me